For the past three years, I’ve been on a nice, long time-out from my business. During that time, Jack and I bought a home, sold a home, and moved from the middle of Minnesota to the middle of Mexico. But more importantly, the break gave me time to forge a new creative identity. I needed time to get from what I was to what I wanted to be.
Our move to Mexico went pretty well. I was able to purchase our home in Chapala, we sold our Minnesota home without a hitch and we navigated the immigration maze to become permanent residents here in Mexico. We enjoy our community and a wonderful year-round climate. We’ve had our ups and downs, but life is pretty darn good.
And my transition to a new creative identity? Let’s just say that it has been a bumpy ride.
Old Creative Identity
For twenty years, the vast majority of my creative efforts went into my business. When I met people, I identified myself as a business owner or an entrepreneur. I wrote books, published patterns, designed stencils, manufactured rubbing plates, taught classes and sold (quite literally) tons of paint.
Don’t get me wrong… I did a HUGE amount of creative work –– in service to my business. Almost everything had to fit through the “marketing” filter. Is this something I can sell? Can I turn this into a class? Is this something the average quilter/crafter/creator can do? What is my cost of goods? What’s the profit margin? Does it make sense for the business?
Anyone who has turned their art, hobby, or creative passion into a business understands exactly what I’m talking about. When you go into business, you stop being a quilter and become a quilt shop owner. You stop being a knitter and become a yarn shop owner. No matter what you were when you started, you stop “doing” the thing you love, and start doing everything to support the business.
I had, unintentionally, stopped being a creative person. I had become a person who supported other people’s creative work. The creative work wasn’t for me. It was for everyone else. Ouch!
New Creative Identity
When we moved to Mexico, I knew I wanted a change. (And not just in scenery.) I wanted to be able to say I am an Artist. I wanted to say it without feeling like a fake.
It wasn’t easy. I didn’t have good “artist” habits. I didn’t have an overriding “passion” that drove my art. Frankly, I just wanted to make stuff that made me happy. I wasn’t even mildly convinced that was enough for me to call myself an Artist with a capital A.
But I learned. I learned a lot. Little by little, I found a routine. With ample time on my hands, I indulged in hours of “what if” design time. I allowed myself to create small samples — to try things out before diving into a big project. Month by month, I learned to play without feeling like I should be doing something “productive.”
I found a set of materials and developed a set of techniques that allowed me to create beautiful stitched paintings that made me happy. I could finally embrace the creative identity of Artist.
True Creative Identity
As much as I felt good about becoming an artist, something was missing. To help me figure things out, I signed up for a Creative Focus Workshop with Jessica Abel.
At some point in the workshop, I made a comment about being torn between making art and teaching. Jessica was wise enough to tell me that it wasn’t realistic to focus on both.To be a professional artist, I needed that to be my One Thing. If I wanted to teach, then I needed to make teaching my One Thing. If I tried to do both, I was not likely to be happy with either one.
What? I can’t do it all??? Well, no. I really couldn’t do it all. I had just spent 20 years proving that to myself.
As I continued to work on my art, I sat with a few questions. What makes me happy? When do I feel most alive? Who are my people? What feeds my soul? What pulls it all together?
I am an Artist Who Loves to Teach
Oddly enough, the Covid pandemic and the need to be physically distanced from other people provided a very clear answer. I need my art, but I also need connection. Making art brings me joy, but sharing my art brings even more joy. Quite simply, I need to teach.
There’s a part of me that thinks it shouldn’t have taken me three years to find this eight-word sentence. I am an artist who loves to teach.
But you know what? It was the greatest gift I could possibly give myself.
I needed time to get to let go of my Business Owner identity. I needed time to grow into my Artist identity. And I needed yet more time to figure out what, if anything, was missing.
And now that I know my true creative identity, it’s time to get started. I am an artist who loves to teach. I’m starting now. I hope you’ll join me soon.
Thanks for reading
Your attention is the greatest gift you can give to a writer. I appreciate the invitation to be a small part of your creative world.
To join the conversation, leave a comment below.
love your new direction!!
Thank you, Debbie. I’m excited. It’s a big change after a long time off, but all good.
Well said. When I told my students last Winter that I would be on sabbatical for the rest of 2020, they were horrified. But I desperately needed time to grow in my art before I taught again. You can’t give what you don’t have, as a wise man once told me.
Covid has given me a reason to really become a hermit and focus. Thanks for reminding me to find a focus.
Good for you for taking time off. You are so right. We have to fill up in order to give to others. Thanks.
My personal experience is much the same…. it’s impossible to truly excel at being an artist while trying to run a business. As a former prize winning competitive juried art quilter, I quickly learned that business is all consuming. I love how your story illustrates that it’s possible to take a different path when circumstances change.
Ah yes, Laura. You totally understand. It IS possible to change directions, but it’s not easy. The most difficult thing is sitting with the incredible discomfort of Not Knowing what’s important and what’s next. If you can stand the discomfort long enough for your brain to slow down, the answers will come.
Hello, Shelly! Once again, I enjoyed your personal commentary on your life as you understand it. You are an inspiration in being honest and open about how you feel in your skin. It makes me feel love for your soul.
Don’t ever stop being who you are in your depth as your inner artist evolves,
Maxine
Thank you, Maxine. I think it’s important to share the hard stuff along with the highlight reel. Life isn’t all roses, even if it looks good from the outside. I appreciate your kind words.
Your journey is interesting and meaningful. You’ve gotten clarity which is a real gift. Congratulations! I try to do way too many things and then run around in circles. Lots of volunteering and team leadership, then squeezing my quilting in between. I’m signed up to be a guinea pig in your upcoming adventure…..it will be exciting. I’ll tuck it into everything else but it will be a joyful addition to life. Someday I will follow your path of focusing.
Clarity is a blessing, Gretchen. The path to getting there can be good, bad, and downright ugly. But it’s worth every step. I’m looking forward to new adventures now that I know which end is up. 😉
Thank you for sharing your adventure into your Creative Art. I am glad you still enjoy the teaching and am really looking forward to your new class… Thank goodness there are artists that love to teach!
Thank you, Leanne. I look forward to seeing you in the classroom. It’s going to be lots of fun!
All I can say is “Yes, you are.” I look forward to next week even though I know I will be out of my comfort zone quickly. Today, I ordered one of your suggested books, thimble dots and finger cots. I haven’t hand stitched in a very long time. I joined a site you recommended, wow. So much to learn but a very good time for it.
Thank you, Janine. I’m delighted that you will be joining the new adventure. See you next week!
Thanks once again for sharing you story… the challenges , the changes, the choices, etc. You are a creative teacher and I love hearing from you.
Thank you, Dorothy. It’s lovely to hear from you as well. I hope all is well up in Minnesota!
You certainly aren’t alone. In addition, I am probably 20 years older than you….. and still preparing for a new adventure……. One of my sister’s recently, said to me “you aren’t getting
any younger”….. that isn’t news to me…. My response: I am doing it on my schedule…… with some interruptions due to cataract surgeries and COVID…. However, I am not giving up my dreams!
“It takes as long as it takes”…… A motto that gives you permission to start on a NEW adventure within the “Journey of Life”.
Thanks for your note, Elizabeth. You’re absolutely right. It takes as long as it takes!
Congratulations! I have some big changes coming up in my life (dissolution of 30+ years of marriage, retirement and moving away from the place I’ve lived for almost 40 years) and hope to join your group when things have settled for me a little. I’ve always been inspired by your creative energy, so keep up the good work!
Just keep going, Karen. One step at a time is the only way to get from here to there. I hope that you feel more settled soon.
Shelly, I am certainly glad that you found that you can bring your artistic talents and share them through your joy of teaching. Covid has forced many of us to slow down and in that slowing down focus on what is truly important. Not having the pressure to meet “obligations” has freed-up lots of space in my weeks and I learned that I really needed that down-time to recharge. I was physically/mentally tired. Looking forward to starting on this journey!
Thanks, Lou Ann. I’m happy, excited and nervous all at the same time!
The pandemic has changed our way of life so quickly and so abruptly. I feel like we are all in this weird time-warp, and we need to find new structures to get through our days, weeks and months. See you in the classroom in a few short days!
I so appreciate your courage to take this journey and then to share it for our benefit. I think we would be surprised how many of us have struggled with our creative identity within our journey of creativity. After years of struggling with trying to combine creating art quilts which I love and making traditional/contemporary quilts I recently made the decision to focus on my art quilting projects and leave the other quilts to those that love that form of quilting. I recently have focused on designing and creating art quilts using all kinds of techniques. Especially those that involve hand work. I also enjoy writing poetry. I recently began a focused series of wall hangings combing my two loves, art quilting with poetry and scriptures that have encouraged me over the years.. I have completed 8 in a series of 15. All unique and of my own design. Covid was the perfect time to begin this project. Your article was such an encouragement to me to stay focused on this project and enjoy the journey. Thank you Shelly.
You are so welcome, Jann. I believe that we ALL struggle with our creative identity. I certainly don’t have a patent on this issue!
I love the sound of your journey with poetry, scripture and your art quilts. That’s a fabulous source of inspiration, and a wonderful way to direct your new focus on your art quilting. Good for you!
I am so happy for you, finding your way in becoming who you are and willing to share your love of your art with all of us. It’s great to have you back in my mailbox again and I look forward to hearing about your new adventures. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.
Thanks, Dusty. It’s good to BE back in your mailbox!